To be truly conscious of our compulsive indentification we need to observe ourselves from the viewing platform offered by God (Romans 8:6-10) which we call the Indwelling Spirit. Then we see with eyes much larger and other than our own.
God’s goal is always union, which is very different from any private perfection, which is always the goal of the ego.
Our carefully constructed ego must gradually crack open (John 12-24-25) as we realize that we are not separate from God, from others or from our True Selves.